Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Ebonics r lyk 4 sukrs and 3 rsons Y u shld NVR...procrastinate?

OKAY...there is a serious problem sweeping this glorious nations' youth today. That problem would be the lack of the gift of spelling. How have I observed this? Well, none other than the best invention EVER! Facebook. SO...the little life lesson in todays blog post is: STOP DEVELOPING SENTENCES LIKE YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN TO SCHOOL. Whew, I am glad I got that out. The reason why I am saying this? Employers check social networking sites. It is proven. Nobody wants to hire the girl who..."lyk hd tha wrst day evaaa in clss...bt juss LOVE ma boooo;D" haha! I couldn't even type that with a straight face.
 Also, COLLEGES, which are possibly the most important institution to be accepted into are NOT going to take you seriously when you are in all AP classes, captain of the chess club, student council president, and "juss sooo pisssed at hym...gona mke hym sooo maaaad lata>(..." hahahaha They are going to LAUGH when you apply for the President's Scholarship. I mean do you turn in term papers like this? I wonder if your spell check self implodes every time you activate it? HA! If I had to edit a paper like that, I think I would just give it back. Or shred it. Seriously you guys, use contractions, Capitalize, and don't leave out the poor vowels! They like you! I promise!

Something I have learned this week, would be the art of procrastination. It NEVER works out like you think it will. How do I know this? 40 jumps in cheer. 40!!! Oh, and did I mention the basketball team was present?! Yeah, that was bad. Here's the short version of the story:I had a FANTASTIC fall break with the family. It was so fantastic in fact that I forgot ALL about practicing the sideline dances for cheer. The outcome as you know, was tragic. So! Here are the three thoughts for the week:

1) DON'T type like a doofus! Seriously, people will laugh in your face, or rather the screens face. But regardless, you WILL be laughed at. 

2) You seriously should refrain from procrastination. It leads to sore muscles, falling on to the toilet seat(rather than sitting), and a lack of organization and nobody likes that.

3) Don't forget to PRAY! Sometimes things get so crazy that I forget to rely on God. We need Him the most when things get cray cray!!

You're Welcome.
Jordan

Friday, October 15, 2010

When worse comes to worse, throw water bottles at the refs.

Have you ever watched a ridiculous movie, or sporting event and wish stuff actually went down like that in real life? How is it that people get away with the most ludicris of acts on the big screen or the field or the ice. I was recently at a hockey game where one of the coaches threw water bottles at the refs. I mean he aimed for their faces! It was hilarious in the moment, but it got me thinking. You know society makes us believe that it is okay to steal someones' husband, as long as we are really "in love" with them, or hit hard, as long as the ref is looking the other direction. We have been trained to ignore our conscious. So what can we do about this, besides not swinging at the dumb blonde who cut in front of us in line?(For her sake, she probably didn't see you there. She IS trying to walk, text, AND chew gum at the same time. Give her a break.)

We can learn to take the JUDGE out of judgemental. Because when you do, all thats left is mental. And mental patients love everyone. 

We can go out of our way for someone. Random acts of kindness make the world go round. Plus it helps you meet new people. 

We can NOT be quick to anger. It is proven that happy and optimistic people live on average, 9 years longer that pessimistic people. PLUS it says not to in the bible. (James 1:19)

We can try to be good examples. When you think that people are watching, you're more than likely to make the right decision. (Unless you play hockey). 

I have learned that happy people make friends, and pass tests, and generally have a higher quality of life. So let's be happy! Give a hug, walk a dog, eat some fries. Don't let life pass you up and don't spend life throwing water bottles. Unless it is recreational. 

You're Welcome.
Jordan

Saturday, October 9, 2010

Keep it simple, Stupid.

College life can be crazy. Correction: it IS crazy. You find yourself in social situations you never thought could happen, except in American Pie. Just Kidding. But seriously, we are just thrown out into the world with a bunch of other kids trying to find our classes, and make friends on the way. What kind of crap is this? We are flat broke, trying to survive off of cafeteria food and ramen noodles. Nobody really likes ramen noodles. You only convince yourself that you do so you can choke down some extra calories before you pull your second all-nighter this week. So here, fellow people, are some tips on how to keep it real during your first semester. Fact: These tips have been known to improve the happiness of drowsy college kids everywhere.

1. NEVER eat anything "exotic" looking from the caf. Even though the line is incredibly short, the line for the bathroom later on wont be. You will be regretting this decision.

2. Hang with yourself. I know that the first couple of times you sit alone at lunch or in class, you can't shake that feeling of being the "smelly" kid. Don't fret. It gets easier, and people respect you for being independent. Nobody enjoys being friends with the crazy clingy kid.

3. Embrace the "wink". If it is imperative that you need to make friends(and by friends I mean dates), go for the winkers. I know it may seem sleazy, but the ones who can pull it off are worth having around and taking out in public. And who cares. They are FUN. Fun is a necessity.

4. Study in public. Chew on your pencil. Sit up straight. Listen to music. Check out the opposite sex walking by. Its great motivation for getting your work done. And plus, you know you look good. That's what matters.

5. Love your crazy roommate. I know that they might pick their feet, or smell like leftover lasagna, but that's who you come home to at night. Embrace their good and bad qualities. Listen to them and they will listen to you. You're going to need an unbiased friend.

These are some things I have picked up on during my first few weeks at school. I hope they help you. Or make you smirk. Smirking is kinda cute. Just be true to yourself, say your prayers, smell the food before you eat it, and don't date boys that still pop their collars.

I'll be back soon, when I have something absolutely DIVINE to share.

Jordan