Saturday, October 9, 2010

Keep it simple, Stupid.

College life can be crazy. Correction: it IS crazy. You find yourself in social situations you never thought could happen, except in American Pie. Just Kidding. But seriously, we are just thrown out into the world with a bunch of other kids trying to find our classes, and make friends on the way. What kind of crap is this? We are flat broke, trying to survive off of cafeteria food and ramen noodles. Nobody really likes ramen noodles. You only convince yourself that you do so you can choke down some extra calories before you pull your second all-nighter this week. So here, fellow people, are some tips on how to keep it real during your first semester. Fact: These tips have been known to improve the happiness of drowsy college kids everywhere.

1. NEVER eat anything "exotic" looking from the caf. Even though the line is incredibly short, the line for the bathroom later on wont be. You will be regretting this decision.

2. Hang with yourself. I know that the first couple of times you sit alone at lunch or in class, you can't shake that feeling of being the "smelly" kid. Don't fret. It gets easier, and people respect you for being independent. Nobody enjoys being friends with the crazy clingy kid.

3. Embrace the "wink". If it is imperative that you need to make friends(and by friends I mean dates), go for the winkers. I know it may seem sleazy, but the ones who can pull it off are worth having around and taking out in public. And who cares. They are FUN. Fun is a necessity.

4. Study in public. Chew on your pencil. Sit up straight. Listen to music. Check out the opposite sex walking by. Its great motivation for getting your work done. And plus, you know you look good. That's what matters.

5. Love your crazy roommate. I know that they might pick their feet, or smell like leftover lasagna, but that's who you come home to at night. Embrace their good and bad qualities. Listen to them and they will listen to you. You're going to need an unbiased friend.

These are some things I have picked up on during my first few weeks at school. I hope they help you. Or make you smirk. Smirking is kinda cute. Just be true to yourself, say your prayers, smell the food before you eat it, and don't date boys that still pop their collars.

I'll be back soon, when I have something absolutely DIVINE to share.


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